At a National Geographic Society meeting, scientists announced discovery of a 110-million-year old fossil, named "Nigersaurus taqueti," or "blackasaurus" for short. Blackasaurus was a voracious plant-eater with a vacuum-shaped mouth, and hundreds of tiny, sharp teeth to grind up its food. 30 feet long, the animal held its head close to the ground to graze.
Scientists suggested it may have been well suited for picking up other plant matter as well. "With more than 50 columns of teeth, it was well suited for picking up whatever plant matter was in front of it," said NGS archeologist Derek McCraccan, who in the 1990s discovered a related fossil, named "Nigersaurus cracceti."
Blackasaurus' lifestyle is yet unknown to scientists, but one expedition team member noted, "We know they did it, and they did it well," in a statement.
The first bones of Nigersaurus were picked up in the 1950s by French paleontologists led by French paleontologist Philippe Taquet, but the species was not named at that time.
The current excavation team honored this early work by naming the species after Taquet. The remainder of the name is purportedly in honor of the country Niger, where the fossil was found, but was actually intended as a not-so-subtle reminder of "the N-word" to spread racial hatred in the face of the strong presidential campaign of Barack Obama, sources said.
The expedition was partially funded by the Land of the Spawn of Demon Seed Heritage Foundation.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
MILTHs / Help / Bush In / Discovering New Ways to Smoke Trees
Update from California:
In response to the major fires sweeping across California, celebrity bloggers around the web have created a new category of literally hot hottie: mothers I’d like to help, or MILTHs. In a poll, Jessica Alba was voted the top MILTH, although she is neither a mother nor in need of assistance.
Land of the Spawn of Demon Seed President (Ret.) Bush, after repeated text messages from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, declared a state of emergency in California, paving the way for federal disaster aid to arrive, and said he would survey the state on Thursday, except, of course, for the areas “where the fires are burning in.”
Mindful of the fact that many California citizens are white, Mr. Bush dispatched officials from the Department of Homeland Security to assess damage ahead of time, so that relief checks could be deposited the instant flames crossed a property line.
On Tuesday, the governator re-texted Mr. Bush, asking him to raise his declaration to “major disaster,” which would affect how the state is reimbursed later. The governor estimated that $75 million in federal aid would be needed. If the fires continue to burn, Mr. Schwarzenegger said, the situation could be upgraded to “total disaster,” which would trigger a deployment of an international coalition of fire-fighters, 6 trillion dollars in federal disaster aid, and a second flyover by Mr. Bush.
Federal and local fire teams from Nevada, Oregon and Wyoming joined the fight, and the governator called up 1500 National Guard members, who were happy to transfer back to the US from Iraq. Mr. Schwarzenegger said in a news conference Tuesday that he was “happy” with the “high” number of firefighters working the blazes, officials said that they were stretched thin and that a lack of food and video games was as much a burden as the temperatures and winds.
“Our numbers are low,” a fire captain confirmed in a telephone interview from San Diego. “But our firefighters are high due to the high concentrations of illegal marijuana in many homes. However, many firefighters are temporarily overcome by fits of giggling and extreme hunger. Moreover, there are not enough couches available.”
In response to the major fires sweeping across California, celebrity bloggers around the web have created a new category of literally hot hottie: mothers I’d like to help, or MILTHs. In a poll, Jessica Alba was voted the top MILTH, although she is neither a mother nor in need of assistance.
Land of the Spawn of Demon Seed President (Ret.) Bush, after repeated text messages from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, declared a state of emergency in California, paving the way for federal disaster aid to arrive, and said he would survey the state on Thursday, except, of course, for the areas “where the fires are burning in.”
Mindful of the fact that many California citizens are white, Mr. Bush dispatched officials from the Department of Homeland Security to assess damage ahead of time, so that relief checks could be deposited the instant flames crossed a property line.
On Tuesday, the governator re-texted Mr. Bush, asking him to raise his declaration to “major disaster,” which would affect how the state is reimbursed later. The governor estimated that $75 million in federal aid would be needed. If the fires continue to burn, Mr. Schwarzenegger said, the situation could be upgraded to “total disaster,” which would trigger a deployment of an international coalition of fire-fighters, 6 trillion dollars in federal disaster aid, and a second flyover by Mr. Bush.
Federal and local fire teams from Nevada, Oregon and Wyoming joined the fight, and the governator called up 1500 National Guard members, who were happy to transfer back to the US from Iraq. Mr. Schwarzenegger said in a news conference Tuesday that he was “happy” with the “high” number of firefighters working the blazes, officials said that they were stretched thin and that a lack of food and video games was as much a burden as the temperatures and winds.
“Our numbers are low,” a fire captain confirmed in a telephone interview from San Diego. “But our firefighters are high due to the high concentrations of illegal marijuana in many homes. However, many firefighters are temporarily overcome by fits of giggling and extreme hunger. Moreover, there are not enough couches available.”
Monday, May 14, 2007
Santa Rosa Macbooks to be Announced Friday
See also:
http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/05/14/1146231&from=rss
http://www.thinksecret.com/news/0705laptops.html
INT. GROVE'S DINNER TABLE - NIGHT
(He stands)
Steve Jobs ruined one of Intel Corporation's most valuable motherboards for us. For fifteen years we had her under development. Floating point computation lessons; OpenGL lessons, packet routing lessons. I spent hundreds of millions of dollars on her. I was gonna make her a big star! And let me be even more frank, just to show you that I'm not a hard-hearted man, and it's not all dollars and cents. She was beautiful; she was young, she was innocent. She was the greatest PCI I ever had, and I had 'em all over the world! And then Steve Jobs comes along with his iPhone interface and clickwheel charm. And she runs off. She threw it all away just to make me look ridiculous! And a man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous! Now you get the hell outta here! And if that gumbah tries any rough stuff, you tell him I ain't no Xerox! Yeah, I heard that story....
[Tom nods, then exits]
Pan of exterior of Grove's estate, then we see the interior of Grove's bedroom.
Grove awakens in a pool of blood, and finds DRM's severed head in his bed; and SCREAMS ah - ah - ah - ah - ah!
Dawn.
http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/05/14/1146231&from=rss
http://www.thinksecret.com/news/0705laptops.html
INT. GROVE'S DINNER TABLE - NIGHT
GROVE
You don't understand. Macbooks never get Santa Rosa. That chip is perfect for them; it'll make 'em unbeatable. And I'm gonna run them out of the business, and let me tell you why.(He stands)
Steve Jobs ruined one of Intel Corporation's most valuable motherboards for us. For fifteen years we had her under development. Floating point computation lessons; OpenGL lessons, packet routing lessons. I spent hundreds of millions of dollars on her. I was gonna make her a big star! And let me be even more frank, just to show you that I'm not a hard-hearted man, and it's not all dollars and cents. She was beautiful; she was young, she was innocent. She was the greatest PCI I ever had, and I had 'em all over the world! And then Steve Jobs comes along with his iPhone interface and clickwheel charm. And she runs off. She threw it all away just to make me look ridiculous! And a man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous! Now you get the hell outta here! And if that gumbah tries any rough stuff, you tell him I ain't no Xerox! Yeah, I heard that story....
TOM
Thank you for the dinner and a very pleasant evening. If your car could take me to the airport; Mr. Jobs is a man who insists on hearing bad news immediately.[Tom nods, then exits]
CUT TO:
Pan of exterior of Grove's estate, then we see the interior of Grove's bedroom.
,
/ \,,_ .'|
,{{| /}}}}/_.'
}}}}` '{{' '.
{{{{{ _ ;, \
,}}}}}} /P'\ ` ;)
{{{{{{ / (
}}}}}} | \
{{{{{{{{ \ \
}}}}}}}}} '.__ _ |
{{{{{{{{ /`._ (_\ /
}}}}}}' | //___/
`{{{{` | '--'
}}}}'}'}'}'}`
Grove awakens in a pool of blood, and finds DRM's severed head in his bed; and SCREAMS ah - ah - ah - ah - ah!
Dawn.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Web Roundup: Photo Tricks!
The wizards and witches at ReadyMade magazine have posted helpful instructions on how to create a wallet-sized photo print out of a standard 8-inch by 10-inch portrait-size photo.
It's easy! For example, if someone had a 8x10 photo of someone they wanted to carry with them, they could easily convert the wall-size photo into a wallet-sized photo that would more easily fit into, for example, a wallet made from cruelty-free synthetic pleather (instructions also provided).
The technique is astoundingly simple, to the extent that one wonders why the technique is not more common knowledge. It requires no tools, rudimentary folding skills, and only one photo. For example, a photo of your mom:
Simply fold along the blue guide channels until only the center panel is showing ... and voilá!
Alternative instructions for creating portable photos may be found on Extremetech.com, where readers may obtain a guide on how to use off-the-shelf components to build a pocket-sized home theater PC with a 100 terabyte RAID including an HD DVR, an always-on EVDO linkup, 802.11n WiFi with Skype connectivity, a halftrack and, of course, an Ubuntu Linux partition that can be loaded with freeware that will enable its laser-guidance and imaging system to find your mom's place, snap her photo when she's smiling, post it to Flickr, and take off with its pants around its ankles just before your Dad gets home.
It's easy! For example, if someone had a 8x10 photo of someone they wanted to carry with them, they could easily convert the wall-size photo into a wallet-sized photo that would more easily fit into, for example, a wallet made from cruelty-free synthetic pleather (instructions also provided).
The technique is astoundingly simple, to the extent that one wonders why the technique is not more common knowledge. It requires no tools, rudimentary folding skills, and only one photo. For example, a photo of your mom:
Simply fold along the blue guide channels until only the center panel is showing ... and voilá!Alternative instructions for creating portable photos may be found on Extremetech.com, where readers may obtain a guide on how to use off-the-shelf components to build a pocket-sized home theater PC with a 100 terabyte RAID including an HD DVR, an always-on EVDO linkup, 802.11n WiFi with Skype connectivity, a halftrack and, of course, an Ubuntu Linux partition that can be loaded with freeware that will enable its laser-guidance and imaging system to find your mom's place, snap her photo when she's smiling, post it to Flickr, and take off with its pants around its ankles just before your Dad gets home.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
ATH-WTF ALERT!! ALERT!! GET OUT OF BOSTON!!
Dark Matter readers in Boston are warned to leave the city limits as soon as possible. To be safe, perhaps even the state of Massachussetts.
Why?
Because Dark Matter readers are highly intelligent. (A survey has determined that 75% of Dark Matter readers have PhD degrees or better.) And if you are in Boston, you are surrounded by stupid, stupid, stupid people. And even stupider police. And even stupider politicians.
In a related story, makers of batteries and wires were arrested today in a major counterterrorism operation. Readers are advised to keep tabs on this developing story, as the contagion may spread to areas outside Greater Boston.
Why?
Because Dark Matter readers are highly intelligent. (A survey has determined that 75% of Dark Matter readers have PhD degrees or better.) And if you are in Boston, you are surrounded by stupid, stupid, stupid people. And even stupider police. And even stupider politicians.
In a related story, makers of batteries and wires were arrested today in a major counterterrorism operation. Readers are advised to keep tabs on this developing story, as the contagion may spread to areas outside Greater Boston.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Strategic Rationale for Falkland Islands War Revealed
In the wake of declassification of a formerly top-secret mapping tool, British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw declined to answer questions Monday regarding the strategic underpinnings of the 1982 battle between the UK and Argentina over possession of the Falkland Islands.
At the time, many around the world expressed surprise and disbelief that in the age of the United Nations, a first-world nation like the UK would use military force to retain possession of a set of islands whose main industry appeared to be raising sheep. Some observers now point to a flood of postwar ventures as possible cover for the real strategic importance of the islands: drilling -- not for oil, nor for fun, but for strategic defense. For the Falklands (known as Las Malvinas in Spanish) are one of the very few areas of land on the globe where true endothetic access to mainland China is possible.
The Falklands have been subject to competing claims of sovereignty since their discovery. Since the undeclared war concluded, the UK and Argentina have resumed diplomatic relations but have not resolved claims of territorial sovereignty.
At the time, many around the world expressed surprise and disbelief that in the age of the United Nations, a first-world nation like the UK would use military force to retain possession of a set of islands whose main industry appeared to be raising sheep. Some observers now point to a flood of postwar ventures as possible cover for the real strategic importance of the islands: drilling -- not for oil, nor for fun, but for strategic defense. For the Falklands (known as Las Malvinas in Spanish) are one of the very few areas of land on the globe where true endothetic access to mainland China is possible.
The Falklands have been subject to competing claims of sovereignty since their discovery. Since the undeclared war concluded, the UK and Argentina have resumed diplomatic relations but have not resolved claims of territorial sovereignty.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Giant rocket engines being used in secret NASA project to turn back time
Revolutionary new rocket engines developed by NASA are being used to slow and, it is hoped, reverse the rotation of the earth.The engines, which are 200 metres high and 300 metres across, are reportedly "extremely efficient" compared to rockets in everyday use. They have been affixed to over 20,000 locations across North, Central, and South America and are "firing constantly," said a high-level official, speaking on condition of anonymity.
By firing against the direction of Earth's rotation, a slowing and reversal of time is anticipated.
While the time stoppage will not be noticeable to ordinary residents of the planet, it will allow Land of the Spawn of Demon Seed President (Ret.) George W. Bush and a specially selected team of time travelers, including Land of the Spawn of Demon Seed Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice -- all of whom are continuing to spin at normal speed -- to travel back in time. According to sources, they plan to visit and lend assistance at several important historic events, including a deadly typhoon in Japan on November 7, 2006; a magnitude 6.4 earthquake in Bingöl, Turkey on May 1, 2003; and the sale of the first bikini on July 6, 1946.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)