Oil Execs Demand Supply-and-Supply Economy

In unsworn testimony to the US Congress at a star-studded gala committee meeting today, executives of several oil companies advocated a step beyond simple supply-and-demand economic theory.

Lee Raymond, chairman of Exxon Mobil Corp., said the company issued a memo to stations in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, urging them to "minimize the increase in price while at the same time recognizing if we kept the price too low we would quickly run out [of fuel] at the service stations."

Chevron CEO David O'Reilly continued the point, stating, "our ability to maintain extreme oversupply of our products is integral to our company's ability to pay for Congressional perks such as fine food, mortgages, and re-election campaigns." He and other execs urged Congress to continue to ignore their continuing price gouging and uncontrolled profiteering, saying they were forces that "made this country what it is."

Raymond concluded by promising to provide all members of the committee with two "skilled" fellatrists and two tins of caviar for a gala dinner scheduled to take place in the same room fifteen minutes later, and called their attention to manila envelopes containing 50,000 USD he said were taped below their chairs.