US President George W. Bush (Ret.) acted quickly to provide succour to Hurricane Katrina victim Michael D. Brown, on reports Brown was having difficulties at work as a result of the hurricane.
Due to the devastation wrought by Katrina, Brown was "experiencing unparalleled levels of work-related stress" for which he was caught "totally unaware."
Cutting through snarls of bureaucratic red tape, Bush issued an exective order that Brown "be returned to Washington forthwith" to prevent any chance of continued exposure to situations, such as having to instruct people what to do, or evading questions from the press, that would adversely affect him.
The move was widely held as yet another instance of Bush's compassion for hurricane victims.
In other news, the Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it will include a revision of secondary meanings of the word "heck" to mean "bowl-stainingly turdlike," or (alt.) "likely to result in thousands of decomposing, rat-eaten corpses," when used as an adjective. The word's original meaning as a euphemism for "Hell" remains the primary meaning.
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