White House aides have confirmed that US President George W. Bush (Ret.) will deliver a speech tonight focusing on the reconstruction of the US Gulf Coast. The programs and policies will be designed to simultaneously prime the nation for a new civil war and funnel monies into the pockets of individuals and corporations who were major supporters of Bush's 2004 re-election campaign, most of whom are "highly likely" to be on the winning side.
Staffers said that "substantial planning" had been done for this major policy push during Bush's monthlong vacation that ended only five days after Hurricane Katrina passed through the area.
The fault lines along which the nation is expected to divide are unclear, but numerous so-called avenues of exploitation exist. (The term is that used in White House memos on the subject.) A number of memorable lines are being considered for the speech, including "If you're with us, you're against us," "All you need is blood," and, in a nod to the death of 1960s-era liberal social ideals, "I have a dream."
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