Amid fears of an incipient European pandemic of the deadly Avian Flu virus strain H5N1, London tabloids are abuzz with the news that the bird found dead in quarantine (after nearly muscling through the bars of its cage to freedom) was in fact a member of the House of Lords who was returning to England from abroad after mistakenly leaving the country classifed as "cargo."
The Lord, Baronet Sir George James Eric Weskin-Cholmondeley, apparently dozed off during a session of the House of Lords and, due to his diminutive size, was mistaken by cleaning staff that night for a stuffed animal. The supposed stuffed animal was not claimed after several weeks spent sleeping in a lost-and-found bin, then was shipped to Southeast Asia as part of a cargo of charitable donations of toys for victims of the December 2005 tsunami. The toy shipment was turned back by local authorities due to a paperwork snafu, and after another 3 months, Lord Weskin-Cholmondeley and the rest of the shipment found themselves remanded to their British port of origin.
By this time, of course, Lord W-C's identity as a living being had been discovered but his status as a human being had not been envisioned by the crew, due to his wizened, beak-nosed visage and propensity for uttering stock phrases such as "needs me tea 'n' crackers," "give us a snuggle, pretty Polly," and "y'blackguards! sell your rubbish somewhere-at else."
His death was mourned Monday by a sparsely attended memorial service at the port. His body remained held by port officials and the means by which he contracted the deadly flu virus remains unknown.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment