Monday, July 24, 2006

Hezbollah takes refuge in child's head

A young Lebanese child is the new headquarters of Hezbollah, according to the latest reports from the Lebanese city of Tyre. After Israeli bombings destroyed his home, the child offered himself as an emergency shelter for the anti-Israel militant group's teachings, sentiments, materiel and personnel.

Along with a supply of religious fervour shored up by the traumatic experience of losing his home at the hands of an invisible enemy, the child's head now contains a wide supply of firsthand knowledge of explosive concussions, crisis management techniques, and sympathy towards acts that reduce or eliminate Israeli presence in the Middle East, as well as an intense desire to exact revenge on Jewish and Western interests and people.

Israeli Defense Minister Amir Peretz declined to comment specifically on the operation that resulted in Hezbollah's newfound operations post, but offered a general statement that "Every civilian death is a sorrow and a mistake," suggesting that the child was perhaps no longer a sidelined civilian.

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