Friday, November 20, 2009

Burger King searches for new Prime Minister

Nov. 20 -- Burger King’s ruler began sounding out party leaders as the chain restaurant, embroiled in tensions between counter staff and French fryers, seeks a new prime minister following the election of Birdie the Early Bird as Prime Minister of rival McDonaldland.

The 52-year-old monarch, who by decree has no name except "The King" and who faces continuing physical difficulties such as a stiff walk and expressionless face after a massive stroke paralyzed him in 1983, met today at the Royal Palace with Whopper Jr. and Sir Shakes-A-Lot, both rumored to be shortlisted for the position.

The Duke of Doubt, leader of the Burger House of Lords and an outspoken opponent of the King's policies, expressed concern that no suitable candidates would be found.

The new Prime Minister of the Burger Kingdom will face an era of heightened tensions with rival territories McDonaldland and Kentucky after Sneak King was revealed to have engaged in covert foodservice operations in areas claimed by both.

The King, through a spokesman, has recently called for “a new era of dialogue, unity and action,” and has vowed to "root out cholesterol" in a massive anti-childhood atherosclerosis campaign introduced last year.

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