Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Police May Lock Up "Troubled" Vice President

According to reports from Corpus Christi, Texas, where US Vice President Richard M. Cheney "accidentally" shot a lawyer while hunting illegally without a license, local police and the Texas Rangers will be examining the incident closely.

Law enforcement officials said there were numerous "red flags" to the case, meriting a thorough investigation. According to friends, Cheney is a "master hunter," and would presumably be aware of the differences between a man's face and a winged animal such as a bird or pig. Also, Cheney has been associated with numerous other felonious incidents where people under his orders had invaded homes and killed and injured numerous innocent civilians, for no crime other than living in Iraq. He had associated with and/or directed others to fix energy prices, and was a known associate of notorious criminals Ken Lay, Tom DeLay, "Scooter" Libby, Jack Abramoff, and drug offender/armed forces deserter George W. Bush, the current US President (Ret.). He had publicly advocated the torture of helpless prisoners. And "any Vice President is naturally a troubled, morality-free individual capable of many heinous acts."

Gun control advocates applauded the decision.

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