Thursday, September 01, 2005

Strategic Oil Reserves Released into Gulf; Bush Counsels Americans to Take Shortcuts

In an inspiring address to the nation yesterday evening, US President George W. Bush announced that he would be releasing the country's strategic oil reserves into the Gulf of Mexico. He said the oil would be "free for anyone who needs it in this tragedy-stricken area." He remained mum, however, about the method by which it should be obtained from ocean waters.

Bush counseled Americans concerned about rising gasoline prices that "sacrifices will be necessary" to weather shortages created by the damage of Hurricane Katrina.

"You may have to take some shortcuts to where you're going," he said. "Don't send out a separate car for every bag of groceries. Make one trip to the bank per day to deposit your money, not five. Consider carpooling to the store when looting. Don't pour gasoline on a fire when kerosene will do. That sort of thing."

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